Your Marriage Makes A Difference
by: Saleama A. Ruvalcaba
On last week’s post, Happily Ever After, I shared how I was the one who made the change to make my marriage better.
Have you ever noticed how there are times in life we do not connect all the dots? Sometimes we think one area of our lives has nothing to do with the other. That’s not true. All the areas of our lives must work together in unity for the best possible life experience. The Apostle Paul talks about this in;
1: Corinthians 12:12
“Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ.”
Paul is comparing here the parts of the body in relation to the church body. Although different parts of the human body function for a different purpose, they must all work together for the human body to function properly.
Have you ever broken your arm or leg? Although you can maneuver through life with a cast and crutches, your entire body does not function the same. Some parts of your body will work harder than before.
We’ve all had the flu at some point in our lives. I do not know about you, but when I’ve had the flu I totally lose my appetite.
In other words, the human body does not function the same when one area of the body is no longer functioning properly.
The same is true in our lives. Your marriage and your homeschool experience are connected, believe it or not.
When I decided to work at changing my marriage, it made a difference in our homeschooling experience.
Several years ago me and Omar took a parenting class offered in our church which centered on positive Christian parenting. The facilitator did a marvelous job with reenactments. One reenactment we did was to pretend we were the children while two other random people in the class pretended to be the parents. In this particular reenactment the parents had to start arguing in front of their children. At the facilitator’s prompting the adults would begin to argue while the other adult, who was acting as the child, sat there listening.
Once the facilitator said to stop, she went right to the adult acting as the child and asked how they felt while the other two adults were arguing. The adult acting as the child said, “I felt very awkward. I also felt scared.”
This was nothing more than a reenactment in the class, right?
Well, the facilitator made us parents all aware that that’s how children feel when their parents are arguing in front of them. They feel awkward – and scared.
Do you really believe you can home educate your children in an environment that has a lot of tension?
Speaking for Myself
Speaking for myself and my marriage; as I have shared, my marriage was very bad! But I am the one who decided to seek God for a change. Our marriage had gotten better, but I knew there was more. I have three daughter’s and I thought about their future. I thought how I treat their father would have bearing on how they treat their future husbands.
I started to learn how and why God created physical intimacy within the confines of marriage. When a husband and wife engage in physical intimacy, it is an act of worship to God. It brings them closer to God and to each other. I referenced last week Genesis 2:24 about the “oneness” between a man and his wife. The Apostle Paul even referenced this verse in Ephesians 5:31
“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and two will become one flesh.”
Paul goes on to say, “This is profound mystery.”
The mystery behind the oneness in physical intimacy found in marriage, is in fact a mystery on how it brings couples closer together. There are scientific reasons why our bodies respond to physical intimacy the way it does. God is the originator of science. We cannot know every reason behind His creation, but what we can know is this, physical intimacy was created by God for husbands and wives as an act of worship to Him. God also created it to bring married couples closer together spiritually.
In Stormie Omartian’s book, The Power of Prayer to Change Your Marriage, she says; “Sex in marriage was intended by God to be more than a great way to spend an afternoon before you have kids. Or the means of escaping the tensions of a busy day. Or something you do to feel good about yourself and each other. Or a way to have children. It is a means of unifying the two of you, joining your bodies, hearts, minds, and souls together in order to break down any strongholds erected by the enemy to destroy your marriage. Sex in marriage reaffirms the oneness, intimacy, and closeness you have as a couple.”
When this point became real to me, I sought God to enhance physical intimacy in our marriage. Our marriage went from being okay to great! Our physical needs were being met, and my emotional needs as a wife were being met. Our spiritual lives changed. Me and Omar began to pray together. We began to fast together. Omar developed into a wonderful spiritual leader for our family and community. When we’ve hit rough roads (which have been many) Omar gets on his knees before God seeking God’s provision and protection for our family.
As a result…the home we provide for our children has love and peace.
Our children know very little about some of the very tough battles we face sometimes. They know some of what we go through because we want them to learn how to pray and seek God for their own struggles. But they have no idea how scared me and Omar get sometimes. What they see and feel is peace in our home. People walk into our home all the time and tell us “There’s such a peaceful feeling here.”
Our home education experience is a peaceful environment because the marriage me and Omar have today is a great marriage. There is a healthy balance of physical intimacy in our marriage which brings us closer to God and each other.
How Does A Good Marriage Make A Difference To Homeschooling?
- Years ago, me and Omar slept in each morning. No prayer. No Bible study together. We just woke up, ate breakfast, barely spoke to each other – and then simply started to do schoolwork. When we faced battles we’d have a huge fight right in the middle of doing schoolwork in front our our children. Or we might have a big fight before starting schoolwork, and then wouldn’t bother doing it because we were so upset with each other. For years now, me and Omar wake up very early every single day. We study our Bible together. We pray together. We pray over our children to have a great homeschool day. We pray, as home educators, for God’s wisdom to teach our children. Our homeschool days are much smoother today than before.
- A few years ago I would get so angry at Omar for attempting to change what I was doing as I tried to teach our children. Our home had a lot of tension. Through continued tenderness toward each other in our marriage, I let go of my control and gave it to Omar. I finally could see that Omar was simply better at teaching. Instead of me having a power struggle, which wasn’t helping anything, I let go. I stopped looking at Omar as if he were against me. I allowed his strength to teach our children come out – and thus peace entered our home.
- Love. Our children are at home with us all day and they get to witness their mother and father expressing love to each other every single day. About a month ago I heard a pastor say; “Whatever your children see you doing they’re going to do. If you read your Bible they’ll want to read their Bible. If they see love between their parents, they are more likely to express love in their marriage. If they see hatred and malice in their home, they are likely to demonstrate the same behaviors toward others.”
I pray this article has challenged you to take your marriage seriously. Your marriage is important to God and it’s important to your children as you commit to being their home educator.
1 Corinthians 10:31 “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.”
-Saleama A. Ruvalcaba
I just started a new blog to share more on this topic called Sexy Christian Marriage. Visit me there to learn all about what it means to have a marriage that glorifies God.
I also just started a new Twitter account. It’s super new! I have under 10 followers. If you’re on Twitter, follow my account. I’ll follow back, like, and retweet.