Homeschool Marriage

Happily Ever After

Why A Happy Marriage Matters While Homeschooling

by: Saleama A. Ruvalcaba 

When I began this blog a few months ago I recall thinking there is no way I can come up with so many topics to write about in terms of home education. Seriously, how many articles can I possibly dish out about science, field trips, curriculum, and so forth?

Then it was like a light went off in my head.

Home education is a total package. In fact, our home, whether we homeschool our children or if they attend traditional school, is the center-piece of God’s foundation for salvation. God expects us to raise our children in a loving, peaceful, environment;

Isaiah 32:18 “My people will live in peaceful dwelling places, in secure homes, in undisturbed places of rest.”

That brings me to a very important topic of discussion – marriage!

Me and Omar have been married going on seventeen years. I absolutely adore Omar. He is a wonderful spiritual leader for our family. He seeks God daily. He prays over me and our children every day. He works hard for us. He very seldom complains. Omar can come home tired from working all day and I’ll apologize telling him we need something from the store. He won’t complain. He’ll simply says, “Okay, I’ll go back out in just a bit – and he will.

On my social media page, I keep pictures of me and Omar as our primary pictures to demonstrate our unity and bond as a husband and wife. We have a great marriage.

When I tell people our marriage was not always this way, they find it hard to believe. When I share with people how me and Omar use to fight like cats and dogs they say; “No way!”

Yes.

We were almost divorced a year after we were married. In fact, we almost didn’t even get married. We fought so much we were a total joke to everyone. Omar had tried to propose to me on two separate occasions, but we got into a huge fight each time. If you didn’t know any better, you would have thought we hated each other.

Our older son would cry as we drove him to school because me and Omar had such horrible arguments in the morning that it made our son scared. Plus, he was always late for school because we wouldn’t stop arguing long enough to get him to school on time.

He could not concentrate while at school because of our fighting. We’d drop him off screaming at each other and we wouldn’t even bother to say goodbye to him.

When we started to homeschool our other children, we’d get into such horrible arguments we’d be too upset to even bother with schoolwork.

There was absolutely no love between me and Omar. We were simply existing for the sake of it.

You might be wondering what happened? Things probably got better as time went on, right? The older we get, we learn how to work these issues out right?

No.

Our marriage got better when Jesus Christ became the center of our lives. We were not Christians growing up. We were never taught the love that Jesus Christ bestows upon us. By the time we became believers we were desperate. Our marriage was horrible, and our finances were horrible. We needed something – or someone.

We asked Jesus Christ to be our Lord and Savior in December 2007. Our entire lives changed!

Jesus Christ has the power to make everything better.

Where me and Omar once treated each other like enemies, we started to treat each other with love and respect.

We forget that when we are not living for Jesus Christ, we are living for Satan – our enemy, and thus, we treat each other likes enemies.

John 10:10 “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy;

However, when we live for Jesus Christ, who showers us with His love, we learn to love others with the same love.

John 10:10 continued…”I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”

Me and Omar jumped right into learning more about Jesus Christ. We started attending church. We started serving in the church. We enrolled into Bible College. We joined Bible studies. We learned that when we mistreat each other, we are sinning against God. We began to totally transform from the inside out.

We started teaching our children how to pray. We started reading the Bible to them. All of sudden, there was peace in our home.

Our marriage got better!

However, the climax was yet to come.

I was sitting in a Bible study at a table of women. They were laughing and making fun of their husbands because their husbands were always wanting to be physically intimate with them. (The nerve or their husbands, right?)

I began to sit back (if you will) and slowly notice that although Jesus Christ can change the dynamic of our marriage, Satan is still at work and he is still trying to drive a wedge between couples. You might be a Christian. You might have an okay marriage, but there still might be some distance between you and your spouse.

We were at my daughter’s music recital at church. A couple we recognized as regular members of the church was about to sit behind us. The husband said something to his wife. The wife got so upset, she threw her bag down (hitting my chair very hard) and walked away leaving her husband standing in the aisle looking completely embarrassed.

At a youth basketball game at church, a husband asked his wife a question. She was sitting in front of him. She threw her hand at him as if to say (shut-up) and simply turned around. Everyone sitting in the area saw her treatment toward her husband.

At a youth baseball game at church, we walked by as a husband yelled at his wife over something.

Being a Christian can in fact change our marriage, but Satan will never stop trying to divide us – and a lot of couples are nothing more than live bait with no clue!

In Genesis 2:24 It says; “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and is united to his wife and they become one flesh.”

Husbands and wives become one in their covenant with God. However, look how quickly after Genesis 2:24 Satan comes in to cause havoc;

Genesis 3:1 “Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, “You must not eat from any tree in the garden?”

Our home is the foundation of salvation with God and we must protect it for our marriage and our children.

So, back to what I was sharing about the women at the Bible study who were making fun of their husbands for wanting to be physically intimate. Most married couples have no clue how God views physical intimacy in marriage and unfortunately it is to the detriment of the marriage. Physical intimacy in marriage is not simply about having children. Most married couples have no idea that God created physical intimacy in marriage as a loving act of worship to Him. A lot of married couples have no idea how physical intimacy will bring tenderness to the marriage. Most couples, especially women that I speak with, have no idea how they are damaging their marriages, and their home, by neglecting physical intimacy with their husbands. They have no idea how Satan uses physical intimacy to drive a wedge between married couples – which causes tension in the home.

The peace that God expects inside the home comes from a loving marriage. Peace for your children as you home educate or if they attend traditional school, comes from a loving marriage.

I was happy that my marriage had changed, but I wanted my marriage to go into another level of love. As I shared at the start of this article my marriage has change. Our marriage is great! We have love and respect for each other. Our home has peace – and it started with me!

To be continued…

I just started a brand new blog on the topic of having a healthy balance of physical intimacy in marriage. To learn more connect with me Sexy Christian Marriage.

I just started a new Twitter account. It’s super new! I have 2 followers! If you’re on Twitter follow your girl. I’ll follow back, like, and retweet!