If You Want Your Homeschooler to Have Friends :: It’s Starts In You
by: Saleama A. Ruvalcaba
What I hear most often from homeschool parents is the concern of their child having friends. They want to make sure their child will have friends to enjoy the homeschool journey with. I agree. Friendships are a wonderful part of life in general.
However, from my personal experience, the word “friend” is thrown around so often that we really do not know what true friendships are. If we are honest, most of us have acquaintances, not true friendships.
As an adult, I have had very few wonderful friendships. My maid-of-honor at my wedding, I no longer have any communication with. That is mind-boggling to me. I had a good friend years ago. We met at a very sad point in my life. I had just spent a tumultuous year in women’s ministry at our former church and I truly needed a good female friend. She was exactly the friend I needed. We became very close. A year later, however, we completely lost touch. In both of these cases, these friendships ended without any closure. We never discussed any issues.
They just ended.
I believe that if we, parents, want our children to have wonderful friends (homeschool or traditional school) we have to model true friendships for them. In the same way our children will model other behaviors we exhibit, there’s a chance they will demonstrate our behavior when it comes to the way we handle friendships.
As an adult, do you have wonderful friendships?
I was speaking with a lady recently and she mentioned her “dear” friend of over sixty-years. I thought, “Wow! Sixty-years!” In all that time I am certain they had many hit and miss moments. I am sure they had disagreements – yet “dear” friends after sixty-years! That is amazing!
In the same way we work hard at our marriage, we should do the same when it comes to our friendships.
We are imperfect people who are always looking for perfect situations! That makes very little sense.
Wonderful lasting friendships take a lot of work and dedication – just like a marriage. Most relationships require sacrifice, love, and patience.
In my opinion, friendships resemble Jesus Christ. Friendships resemble love: 1 Corinthians 13:4 “Love is patient, love is kind, it does not boast, is it not proud. Friendships also resemble the Fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
Some friendships are for a season. Some are for a lifetime. It’s important to remember to resemble Jesus Christ and seek friendships in the same manner. Teach your children to love others. Teach your children to be loyal. Teach your children to trust God with their relationships.
We cannot change others. We can only love our friends the same way God loves them.
Jesus Christ is love.
When we have Jesus’ love in our hearts, we bring forth that same love to our friends.
Yes, I am sure there are many adults who have wonderful friendships, but it is not by chance. It’s hard work – worth the sacrifice.
As I am getting older and my walk with Jesus Christ grows – I am learning how to be a better friend today.
In you are concerned with your homeschooler making friends; remember Ephesians 4:2, for you and your children, “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”
– Saleama A. Ruvalcaba